More like bloody off white if you ask me, disgusting, wouldn't catch my Tina reading it. If I did that would be it, she can pack her bloody bags and go Female sexual fantasy more like the filth you'd find on the top shelf at the back of the news agents in Cricklewood High Street, next to the shampoo shelf. They call it 'erotica' when a woman writes it, have you seen her? She's no spring chicken expect she has to be creative in the writing department to make up for lack lustre rumpy-pumpy in the bedroom.
Had two women in the back of the cab going on about it yesterday afternoon after I picked them up from a boozy lunch. 'Wish Roger would tie me to the bed post and spank me, I keep asking him but all he does is look a bit sheepish and turns up his Jeremy Clarkson dvd and watches cars explode'. The other one who had ten years on her went a bit quiet and then giggled; 'that guy's got nothing on Tim. He makes me dress up as a nurse and tend to his needs - if you know what I mean and you wouldn't want to know what they are'.
Glad they got out at South Ken station my mind was wandering too far and too fast. Not that Tina's had any complaints in the past, not much going on now because of the bloody prostate op- but back in the day. Once a week regular on Sunday's after a full roast and a couple of pints up the The Bull, mind you she did always seem keen to have it over and done with by the time The Antiques Roadshow was on.
Long live romance.
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