Hard to put pen to paper on this one - still in shock from the news of the great lady's demise. It bought a tear to my eye when I heard, I knew she was frail but somehow thought she would be with us for a few more years.
Maggie, Margaret, Baroness Thatcher how do I name her - it seemed her name grew in stature as she did. But I had in her in the back of the cab once; not just her, Denis was there.
The greatest day of my life - they were on the way to a do at RAC club; something to do with a Falklands celebration and normal driver was late. She was just like you think - kept telling Denis they would be late and he told her not to bloody fuss.
I wouldn't be doing what I do today and living in Brentwood if it hadn't been for her; my parents bought their council flat in Islington and sold it at a profit and lent me the money to buy my first cab. Got a 100% mortgage no questions asked mortgage for our home sweet home and Tina even had her hair done like hers - don't mind telling you that was quite a turn on; specially when she called my name in her Maggie deepened tones.
The only politician with any balls since Churchill; I haven't got much time for any of the new Tory birds, all shiny shoes and no bloody backbone.
Just caught a glimpse of Glenda Jackson on the parliamentary tributes - she's got a cheek, how can she compare to such a real woman. These actor types are always leftie.
But what takes the biscuit is people downloading the 'witch is dead' song - no bloody respect. Yes she closed a few mines and factories and let the banks have a free hand.
Hasn't does us much harm though has it?
Wednesday, 10 April 2013
Sunday, 31 March 2013
Ted Fumes is back
Easter Day 2013 - back in the land of the living, I've been off with heart problems you see.
Never 'd guessed to look me a fine figure of a man, slim as a reed ha ha. Well I am a bleeding cabbie.
Her indoors told me to take it easy don't go getting your blood pressure up again. So putting pen to paper or fingers to keyboard was off limits but I had to say something today of all days.
Where have all the bunnies gone? It's bloody Easter and not a one in sight. Still got your lambs (either on the plate or in the snowy, yes snowy fields - April Fools tomorrow!)
Must be those bloody foxes insidious little bastards parading out streets in gangs as soon as its dark ; caterwauling at dawn with their earthly desires and destroying our bunnies before our very eyes.
I think its illegal to polish them off but they're even starting to attack our children in their beds or even babies in cots; much to comfortable if you ask me. Its us or them and I've had a good idea. Let's set up fox vigilante groups catch them at their own game at night - we won't kill them but cover them in sacks; into the back of a van and set them free in the country somewhere close to Ewell. Lets see if they can make it back where they belong; not for long me thinks, those black leopard type cats everyone keeps spotting will have 'em.
Never 'd guessed to look me a fine figure of a man, slim as a reed ha ha. Well I am a bleeding cabbie.
Her indoors told me to take it easy don't go getting your blood pressure up again. So putting pen to paper or fingers to keyboard was off limits but I had to say something today of all days.
Where have all the bunnies gone? It's bloody Easter and not a one in sight. Still got your lambs (either on the plate or in the snowy, yes snowy fields - April Fools tomorrow!)
Must be those bloody foxes insidious little bastards parading out streets in gangs as soon as its dark ; caterwauling at dawn with their earthly desires and destroying our bunnies before our very eyes.
I think its illegal to polish them off but they're even starting to attack our children in their beds or even babies in cots; much to comfortable if you ask me. Its us or them and I've had a good idea. Let's set up fox vigilante groups catch them at their own game at night - we won't kill them but cover them in sacks; into the back of a van and set them free in the country somewhere close to Ewell. Lets see if they can make it back where they belong; not for long me thinks, those black leopard type cats everyone keeps spotting will have 'em.
Liverpool 0 Ted Won
Forgot to tell you what happened to me - got to the hospital after the heart attack, not that I remember much apart from Tina screaming he's gone purple do something over and over to the paramedics.
Put me in intensive care straight away, tubes in all my orifices and a mask over my face. She even put a picture of me on Face book, can you believe it? I think it was to get the girls to realise the severity of my condition or it could have been to get a record number of likes.
After I had stabilised it was tests, and more bloody tests followed by a quadruple bypass, knew I should have cut down on the donuts and sneaky Kentucky fries and followed her example but can you see me at weight watchers followed by Zumba at the town hall. Nor can I.
That's when I heard about the Liverpool pathway; I was just coming round back on the ward and I though the doctor was taking to the nurse about the latest football results as it was the weekend when it all happened. Bloody cheek I thought there's me at death's door and they're talking about bleeding football.
I had it wrong didn't I they had decided in their medical wisdom that not a great deal more effort should be put my way. I was on the Liverpool pathway, not bleeding likely. I thought it was called the National Health Service not a fast-track to the incinerator . Well I bloody showed them. Once I came round with Tina there I told them straight; if I needed the ER electric pads, get you going again injections or mouth to mouth. I wasn't fussy let the newest non-English speaking doctor give it a go. Look at the way they're treating Nelson Mandela and he's bloody 90 odd! I want the same service here. We're not a third world country and I might not have freed a people from persecution but I have bloody well paid my NI for 40 years.
That got them going - having Tina there helped. I felt sorry for those older buggars with no visitors. Meal-time was worst I was on the ward with four old guys all pretty frail; their meals were plonked by them and they were expected to be able to eat them; lucky Tina was there and the girls as they usually ended up spooning it in. It brought tears to my eyes.
Glad I got through it - allowed back to work next week. If you can afford private healthcare bloody get it,
Put me in intensive care straight away, tubes in all my orifices and a mask over my face. She even put a picture of me on Face book, can you believe it? I think it was to get the girls to realise the severity of my condition or it could have been to get a record number of likes.
After I had stabilised it was tests, and more bloody tests followed by a quadruple bypass, knew I should have cut down on the donuts and sneaky Kentucky fries and followed her example but can you see me at weight watchers followed by Zumba at the town hall. Nor can I.
That's when I heard about the Liverpool pathway; I was just coming round back on the ward and I though the doctor was taking to the nurse about the latest football results as it was the weekend when it all happened. Bloody cheek I thought there's me at death's door and they're talking about bleeding football.
I had it wrong didn't I they had decided in their medical wisdom that not a great deal more effort should be put my way. I was on the Liverpool pathway, not bleeding likely. I thought it was called the National Health Service not a fast-track to the incinerator . Well I bloody showed them. Once I came round with Tina there I told them straight; if I needed the ER electric pads, get you going again injections or mouth to mouth. I wasn't fussy let the newest non-English speaking doctor give it a go. Look at the way they're treating Nelson Mandela and he's bloody 90 odd! I want the same service here. We're not a third world country and I might not have freed a people from persecution but I have bloody well paid my NI for 40 years.
That got them going - having Tina there helped. I felt sorry for those older buggars with no visitors. Meal-time was worst I was on the ward with four old guys all pretty frail; their meals were plonked by them and they were expected to be able to eat them; lucky Tina was there and the girls as they usually ended up spooning it in. It brought tears to my eyes.
Glad I got through it - allowed back to work next week. If you can afford private healthcare bloody get it,
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